Probaditas de Morelia

I know you aren't supposed to compare everything when you move to a new place, it annoys the locals and the insights are rarely interesting, but the state of Mexican ants can't be ignored.

Mexican ants are irresponsible drifters and maybe, just maybe, lethal super villains.

Now before you berate me with terms like NAFTA and globalization, let me explain. The ants I'm familiar with behave like good, obedient members of an organized colony. If there's a trail of ants in your house, you can be sure they've discovered food and are working hard collecting their bounty. Upon discovering these unwanted guests, one typically follows their trail to the point of entry and executes the dastardly deed upon the lot of them leaving a trail of little ant bodies after the smoke clears.

The ants in my apartment, on the other hand, defy all the ant logic I throw (shout) at them. They appear out of nowhere without a goal, destination, or discernible reason for being. There are no cookies on my ceiling. There is no watermelon in my dresser. And there is definitely no chicken on my bookshelf. And yet this is where I find them. I try to follow their trail to some source but I can't. I finally realized it isn't a path at all, but a circle. These ants are loitering! Just passing the time, hanging out, walking from one end of my bookshelf to the other. They are like the local hoodlums looking for trouble as they cruise the strip. And the worst part - they don't even care. They are totally irresponsible ants, drifting about from scenic wall to luxurious corner, blissfully ignoring the culinary needs of their hard working brethren.

I have no patience for this intrusion so I turn the Raid can on my wayward pets. But after the smoke clears I never find that trail of little black dots. Their little bodies just disappear. Poof - gone. And this little fact is what really worries me. What if they aren't dying at all, but instead limping off to recover in some dark, seedy ant hospital. With each shot of Raid becoming stronger and more radioactive. On top of this already perilous situation, my apartment is teeming with toxic fumes from my recent exploits with wood stain and a suspicious "paint thinner" that melts all things plastic.

Yes, maybe I'm a little paranoid, but with all the ingredients for superhero mayhem (radiation, creepy creatures, unsuspecting victim), it's easy to imagine being dragged off to my demise by some enormous, surly, super-ant. On the positive side, perhaps I will emerge from the encounter with super-ant powers of my own. An Ant-Boy of sorts. I can think of worse.

Antus Normulus
Likes: Working hard, carrying food scraps, long lines, appearing overnight en masse
Dislikes: Soap, water, Raid
Size: Small

Antus Mexicus
Likes: Appearing out of nowhere, loitering in small groups, my right stereo speaker.
Dislikes: Soap, water, Raid
Size: Small (but growing)

Antus Radioactivus
Likes: Committing evil, causing chaos
Dislikes: Kryptonite, capes
Size: Terrifying

Another great trip with Javier, Amandine and Marisol. This time to Javier's cabin at Quercus.

Javier's family owns a plot of land close to the town and lake of Patzcuaro. They divided the land into smaller plots for sale to individuals. By sharing the cost of utilities and plumbing amongst everyone in the community, called Quercus, they can offer people a place to build a country home at a fraction of the cost of an equivalent property elsewhere. Brilliant and beautiful. I wish I had taken more pictures of the actual countryside because it's incredibly lush and relaxing.

This has nothing to do with Mexico, but seriously, how cute is my niece? It's pretty ridiculous.

BUT...just as we set foot inside the ancient church walls, the ground began to shake and everything went fuzzy....

Oh no!? What happened to our intrepid travelers? Were they crushed in a pile of rubble and aviator shades? Did the earth swallow them whole like tasty green tic-tacs? Or did they complete their trials and emerge victorious in Quiroga only to gorge themselves on delicious carnitas tacos?

fIND oUT iN tHE nEXT pROBADITA!!

First little party in my apartment.

The Mercado San Juan, located three blocks from my apartment, delivers a shopping experience quite different from your local Safeway. Though similar to a farmer's market, the mercado's hundreds of enthusiastic and vocal vendors create an interactive adventure wholly unique to Mexico. Heeding the requests of these marketeers results in a tour of fresh Avocados, Chile, handmade Tortillas, Papaya, Mango, Cactus, and recently alive and now dead and de-feathered chickens.

And the prices! Not even the biggest and best supermarkets can compete. Here in Morelia the best 'Super' is, dare I say it, Walmart. Sad but true. The reality is that people (including myself) buy fresh food at the mercado and everything else at Walmart.

Below are a few photos from my first, chaperoned trip to the mercado. I've since completed solo journeys but it is still a crazy experience. Kilos, pesos, Spanish, 20 vendors selling the same stuff - what's a guy to do?

Odd dream last night.

I'm at a party with a bunch of people from my high school who were not my friends. We are all wearing A's uniforms. Mine is, of course, the best - all white with the green pin stripes and the hat and everything. I'm sitting on the couch with other non-friends when someone asks me how much Spanish I'm really learning down there. I explained to them, in Spanish, that it would be better if I answered that question in Spanish.

All of a sudden we are sitting around on the playground equipment at a children's park talking and I can't help but notice the equipment is covered in pasta sauce.

And then I wake up smiling and happy. I guess because I was speaking Spanish in a dream(?)....or I'm crazy. Time will tell.

-n

The other day I was walking in the Centro when I came upon this big to-do. Mexico's next presidential election is on July 2 and the most popular candidate with the laborers, Lopez Obrador, was visiting Morelia. His visit brought countless busses packed with people coming to show their support. I didn't stay long but everything appeared very organized and orderly.

Mexico has three political parties, PAN, PRI, and PRD though it is interesting to note that Vicente Fox, the current president, was the first non-PRI president in 71 years.

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-n

The view from my 2nd story bedroom window. I believe the rooster is somewhere off to the left but like the garbage man, I've never actually seen him.

The building across the street is in ruins and has been abandoned but this is actually less common than you might think. As you can see in the second photo, the rest of the houses on the block are in good shape. I've noticed five cats who enjoy passing their days there lazing around. I feel bonded to them by our common pursuits of food and leisure.

I knew things would be different. But it's never the things you expect. Take garbage for example.

My last apartment in San Francisco had the best and most futuristic system for garbage I have yet encountered. Simply walk 5 steps down the hall and drop the offending bag into the garbage shoot. Down the hatch and whooosh, it is whisked away to a happy place where little gnomes magically take care of everything. Perfection. Even after three years, each whoosh and satisfying thud gave me a slight rush.

Here in Mexico things work a little differently.

First of all, there is no shoot but that was to be expected. No big deal. Instead of the shoot and gnomes, Mexico has a truck with a little bell. Every morning at an unspecified and highly irregular time, this truck drives around the neighborhood ringing the bell to alert attentive garbage disposers of its presence. The system is simple, when you hear the bell and see the truck, bring out your garbage and pay them a small tip ($0.25 per bag) for the service. Oh they love to ring that bell. Ring a ling a ling.

It's 7am, I'm still asleep but from the corner of my mind I hear a sound to faint to be my alarm clock....Ring, a ling a ling a ling a ling. "Oh god, is the truck here? Is it close?" The bell is louder now. I run to open the window, sticking my head out to see if I can make out the phantom truck in the distance but it's nowhere to be seen. Ring a ling a ling. "Yeah, yeah. I hear your damn bell. Where the heck are you?" Ring a lin a li..... and it's gone. No bell, no truck. I've heard the bell many times but I have never seen that truck.

The old lady who runs the corner store and spends her days asleep behind the counter told me the truck comes when it wants to come. Not helpful. When pressed she said usually around 8am. But at 9am, still no truck and I have to leave for school. When I return, I turn the corner full of anticipation. Did they pick it up? Things look good, all the garbage is gone, but wait, what's that? They left mine sitting there? Of course they did. No tip, no pickup.

When I get desperate I leave money with this same old lady and put my garbage in front of her store. This works but I feel bad and I doubt she appreciates me dumping my garbage duties on her. But so it goes. Maybe they come by on Saturdays.

Asì­ es.

-n

They keep telling me Mexico is a country of contradictions. I'm starting to believe.

I made my first real salsa last week and it was actually really easy. Oh, and delcious if I do say so myself.

My classes are one-on-one for three hours every day from 9-12. The first hour is grammar, the second hour is practice and the third hour is for everything else including the use of prepositions, indirect object pronouns, and the like.

The quality of the instruction here is excellent. The teachers are better than any I had in college or in San Francisco. Pretty incredible considering I found the school on Google.

• Non-Fat Plain Yogurt
• Fresh Blackberries
• A dab of Fresh Honey
  

Delicious. You can switch up the berries or leave out the honey but the combo is divine.

Note: If you are planning on visiting a 3rd world country like Mexico (hint, hint), eating yogurt daily for four weeks before your trip will help prepare your stomach for the trip. It adds something, I'm not sure what, to your stomach that helps you digest new foods that might otherwise make you sick.

-n