Probaditas de Morelia

I was thinking about how we measure success and specifically about what I’ve accomplished here in my first five months. If I went home tomorrow, what would I take with me? What would I say in my next job interview? Embarrassing, petty thoughts, but mine nonetheless. I’d love to blame them on my native culture, thoughts typical of Yanks who work too hard and enjoy life too little, but in the end their origin makes no difference. So what have I added to the world since I moved to Mexico? What accomplishments can I put on my resume? Well, nothing really. But I have learned something during my time here that makes me not care.

This “nothing” scared me at first. At one time I was on a path that may be familiar to you: AP classes, SAT tutors, extracurricular activities, an Ivy League education, and then an investment banking job in San Francisco. But I didn’t like that path. I saw myself rich and miserable in ten years. So I quit. Took another job with a better work/life balance but it didn’t sit right either. A number of events transpired to convince me the next step was a move to Mexico but that wasn’t a decision made with the mind. It was a leap of faith dealing with dreams and matters of the heart. I didn’t have to think about it and I’ve never regretted it.

I did come here with a list of things I wanted to achieve but so far, what I planned hasn’t come to pass. I started to feel bad about this but that was short sighted. It’s easy to obsess about the type of success you can measure and turn into bullet points but there is so much more to life than that. I’ve lived in a foreign country for five months. I’ve learned I enjoy writing. I’ve almost become fluent in Spanish. Most importantly, however, I listened to my heart and followed a dream, something I’ve never done before. I believe we die a little bit each time we shy away from a dream, avoiding the risk, sticking to the safe, well-trodden path, and I would forever be slightly less than whole had I not taken this step.

Despite our country’s, and perhaps the world’s, obsession with the intellect, I don’t believe you can think and reason your way to a happy life. Sadly, it just doesn’t work that way. Accomplishments and intellectual pursuits are a part of life, not the whole ensemble. If I’ve accomplished anything here, it’s that I’ve started learning how to live. It sounds trivial, but in reality we spend most of our lives working and worrying about the future, but never just living. But that is exactly what I’m doing here, living, at the most basic level: learning to communicate, cooking, eating, dancing, laughing, feeling, and loving. I’m sure there will be more bullet points for me to add to my resume in the months and years to come but for now, I’m living between the lines and I think it is the best thing I’ve ever accomplished.