Probaditas de Morelia

A few notes on a favorite topic of mine – scorpions.

I found and killed my 3rd scorpion. This one was on my bedroom wall, stinger poised in attack mode, about 3 feet from where my head would be if I were sleeping. I started to go for the camera to document this small warrior but I noticed him tense up so I decided best not to lose the opportunity. I took of a shoe and wham, that was the end of Mr. I-May-or-May-Not-Kill-You-While-You’re-Sleeping.

This scorpion was much smaller than the fellow who received the Rim Chop. He was in fact the the exact same size and in almost the exact same place as the other one I killed in my bedroom. Maybe there is some merit to the “scorpions travel in pairs” theory. And this, my friends, is not comforting news. This means there is another, big, mean, recently widowed Scorpion somewhere in my apartment plotting revenge against the evil, scorpion hating giant who has taken up residence here (me).

Interesting scorpion fact: The word for scorpion in spanish is “la alacrán”. Alacrán is actually of Arabic origin and found it’s way into Spanish sometime after the Moors invaded Spain in 711. Many Arabic words in Spanish can be identified by the prefix “al-”. This is because in Arabic the word was actually closer to “al acrán”. The “al” being the Arabic definite article which in English is “the”. So the spanish heard “al acrán” as one word and added their own article “la” at the front, thus, “la alacrán.” (Or so I’m told). Other Arabic words in Spanish that follow this pattern include: almuerzo which means lunch and almohada which means pillow.

And not that anyone’s keeping score but just for the record:
Scorpion Army of Death: 0
Nate: 3

We just celebrated Mexico's Independence day. Every year, on the night of September 15th, the Mexican President repeats the cry for independence or "el grito" that was first yelled by Miguel Hidalgo in 1810. As I understand it the grito includes a lot of "viva this" and "viva that" and a little bit of "die you spanish scum." (Translator's note: Slight artistic license taken to aid the understanding of modern readers.) This same tradition is also repeated in all(?) or maybe only the largest cities of each state which, luckily for us, includes Morelia.

We made our way down to the city center to join the sombrero laden mob of people who came from the surrounding pueblos to enjoy the grito. It was absurdly crowded but we squeezed in on one side impossibly far from the main stage but still close to the cathedral which donned festive green and red lights for the occasion.

Now, people from lawsuit obsessed societies, such as myself, are used to a certain amount of safety precautions when attending a large, public event. But when the the fireworks began at 11pm it became clear that Mexicans aren't such a litigious bunch because these fireworks were neither safe nor distant. They were instead being launched from what appeared to be the middle of the crowd. I say launched but given the heights they attained, thrown is probably a more accurate descriptor.

The resulting pandemonium was thrilling. Industrial strength, 4th of July style fireworks were exploding everywhere and then falling, still ablaze, into the packed mob. The crowd lurched and ebbed as we jumped frantically to and fro to avoid the burning, red and green pieces of festive projectiles falling from the sky. We screamed in terror, we laughed, a few unfortunates probably cried, but for the rest of us, wow, what a show. I'm just glad we weren't closer.

After the smoke cleared, there were some cheers and whistling, and then for no reason that I could tell, the crowd knew it was done – the grito had been issued. I'm told someone official gave the shout but everyone admitted they hadn't really heard anything. Perhaps the official was all yelled out after his brief encounter with a premature, fiery death. Or perhaps, this year, it was left to the masses. We weren't exactly clamoring for independence, but we were screaming at the top of our lungs.

A friend traded his stove for a pair of sunglasses — bitchin, envy invoking sunglasses, yes, but still...his stove?

Five days later he left them in the back of a taxi cab.

Sad perhaps, but he did look really damn cool for almost an entire week.

I’m sick of thinking about this and I'm sure you're bored of hearing about it so I’ll keep it short. It wasn’t Salmonella, it was/is an e-coli infection of some sort. I’ve been in bed for much of the last month but I think I’m finally through the worst of it. I’m sure you can move to a foreign country if you don’t know anyone but I really can’t imagine how. There is no way I could have made it through this month without the care and feeding of Marisol and her mom (also named Marisol).

In any case, I hope to be updating this page regularly again now that I’m finally on the mend. There are funny things I've wanted to share but I've been otherwise occupied imbibing a lifetimes worth of chicken soup. So stay tuned. More is coming soon.