Overheard in an Apartment in Mexico
Hapless Male: (Looking in refrigerator) Do you think this pasta is still ok to eat?
Culinary Expert: No, probably not. You should throw it out.
Hapless Male: What? Are you kidding? It’s not that old. I’m sure it’s fine. I was a bachelor for years surviving on leftovers exactly like this slightly-funky pasta.
Culinary Expert: Honey, listen to me. Please don’t eat that.
Hapless Male: (Mumbles something unintelligible)
(The Next Day on the Phone)
Culinary Expert: Is that you? What’s the matter? You sound terrible.
Hapless Male: Uh, well, you remember that pasta you told me to throw out? I was sort of eating that when all of sudden I was hit with the extremely violent urge to…
Culinary Expert: Oh no! Gross. Did you? Are you ok?
Hapless Male: Yeah, or I mean no, nothing happened. The sensation came fast and furious but I held it back. I’m in bed now, sweating. My face is pale...uh...er than normal, and the skin under my right eye is swollen and puffy. (Trying to sound upbeat) But actually I think I’m starting to feel better.
Culinary Expert: (Long Pause) Who told you not to eat that?
This dialog is a work of fiction. Any similarity between these characters and anyone you know, especially the author of this blog and his girlfriend, who may or may not be a professional chef, is entirely coincidental, ridiculous, and downright slanderous, so please stop thinking what you are thinking, unless of course you are thinking something other than what I think you are thinking and in that case, well, carry on compadre.
Culinary Expert: No, probably not. You should throw it out.
Hapless Male: What? Are you kidding? It’s not that old. I’m sure it’s fine. I was a bachelor for years surviving on leftovers exactly like this slightly-funky pasta.
Culinary Expert: Honey, listen to me. Please don’t eat that.
Hapless Male: (Mumbles something unintelligible)
(The Next Day on the Phone)
Culinary Expert: Is that you? What’s the matter? You sound terrible.
Hapless Male: Uh, well, you remember that pasta you told me to throw out? I was sort of eating that when all of sudden I was hit with the extremely violent urge to…
Culinary Expert: Oh no! Gross. Did you? Are you ok?
Hapless Male: Yeah, or I mean no, nothing happened. The sensation came fast and furious but I held it back. I’m in bed now, sweating. My face is pale...uh...er than normal, and the skin under my right eye is swollen and puffy. (Trying to sound upbeat) But actually I think I’m starting to feel better.
Culinary Expert: (Long Pause) Who told you not to eat that?
This dialog is a work of fiction. Any similarity between these characters and anyone you know, especially the author of this blog and his girlfriend, who may or may not be a professional chef, is entirely coincidental, ridiculous, and downright slanderous, so please stop thinking what you are thinking, unless of course you are thinking something other than what I think you are thinking and in that case, well, carry on compadre.
Wow, good thing you don't know someone so silly...!
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:57 PM